An open letter to adult children

Many men think they are doing a great favour to their parents by living together with them. I ask such men, "did you feel the same when you were a kid, when you were dependent on them for cleaning your poop and hand feeding you and serving you continuously till you got married and your wife became much more important to you?"

All your life when you needed support, you grabbed the hands of your parents but when they required emotional support in old age, you either moved away or continued to live with them treating them more like a liability. 

You think depending on them was perfectly obvious because they gave you life and raised you but you consider having them to live with you a favour from your end. 

How often did you feel that it was your parents/parents in law’s duty to look after your kids in your absence, or even presence? If they look after your kids, it is their choice and affection towards them. They are not obligated to do so. 

Today you are troubled not because they demand too much from you but because you feel your privacy is being violated. You have no idea how much your parents have loved you all their life. Above all, they valued your life more than theirs. 

Respect them for what you are today. They spent their youth towards getting this independent man out of a boy who couldn't even live alone at home without parents. 

You depended on them when you were single, today you need them because you need a baby sitter, so that you can attend your office without having to think of your kids’ safety and school assignments. 

More than them, you need them - for your selfish motives. If there are no such motives, then they become non-entities and you choose to live away from them because living with them "kills" your privacy.

Everything you do comes back to you; good or bad; sooner or later. 
Do not ill-treat your parents. Do not be rude to them. This is the least you can do while choosing to prioritise other things over them.

Remember - your parents don’t live with you. You live with them.




1 comment:

  1. Agree with essence of your post that is to take care of parents but I disagree with the point that by only living with them you can take properly. I live away from them within the same city. Sometimes your parents too need their freedom. It's not just a kids' thing. Pre-corona days.. I visited them 3-4 times a week.

    ReplyDelete